How To Date Yourself

It’s February. Well, it won’t be February anymore when you’re reading this, but let’s ignore that technicality. Valentine’s Day has passed and most single pringles among us probably didn’t spend the fourteenth being all lovey dovey gross with someone else. I, for one, probably spent this day in bed doing nothing but eating nuggies and watching Grace and Frankie on my own. That’s a conscious decision though, because I don’t really like the concept of this whole ‘love day’. Why pamper someone (or yourself) on this specific day, if a year has, give or take, three hundred and sixty-four other days to make special?

Don’t get me wrong, I do love going on dates. Be it with someone else, but especially on my own. When I was younger, I used to struggle with the idea of doing fun things alone: there was always this stigma on having fun on your own outside of the comforts of your house. However, I found out that this stigma is bullshit. Ever since I turned twenty, I have been spending a significant amount of time doing fun activities on my own. I would not call myself a solo-dating expert, but I am a connoisseur.

So, how do you take yourself out on a date? First things first, you should ask yourself out. Do I want to go and do something different? This sounds stupid, and maybe it is, but I always find myself asking similar questions. Asking someone else out is part of going on a date, so why would it be odd to ask yourself the same question? You deserve the full experience.

What a surprise: you said yes to yourself! Step two is picking a day and time: a date. As you don’t have to deal with multiple schedules, you can go whenever you want. I think that’s the beauty of taking yourself on a date: you are your only restriction, nobody else will be there to either stop or delay you. There is also nobody who will get annoyed if you have to cancel, which makes it a total win-win.

Step three is actually going on your date. It be easy like that. No queasy feelings about having to meet someone else, no nerves about how you have to impress another human being, and no worries about eventual aftermath. It will be about you and about you only. As an aficionado I can confirm that dating yourself is a whole load of fun. Allow me to tell you about my IKEA-date.

I absolutely adore going to IKEA. The interiors displayed at the warehouse are so aesthetically pleasing: I am obsessed with the living-room designs. When I go to IKEA, I usually end up sitting in one of these living-rooms imagining what my life could be, especially fantasizing about finally owning massive bookcases like the ones at the store. This one time, however, I decided to add an extra layer to my adventure: I pretended to be pregnant.

Do tell me, have you ever left IKEA without seeing at least three pregnant women there? I know I haven’t. I thought it might be funny to rub my belly and smile madly while wandering through the warehouse. I knew I wasn’t pregnant, but everyone else didn’t. I was walking around with a little secret, which made the whole trip a lot more entertaining. Anyways, I can imagine not everyone is as borderline schizophrenic as I am, so let’s talk about less crazy solo-dating ideas.

As an art hoe, I love going to museums. I also think visiting a museum on your own is the best way to go: it will be about you and art without anyone else. I don’t think museums are necessarily made to visit with someone. Of course, having live company is nice, but I believe the souls of all those artists are with you anyways when you’re at a museum admiring their work. I always feel blissful and inspired when looking at paintings. The colors, the brushstrokes, the shapes are all so dynamic: I don’t think you really need to look at that with someone else. Going to a museum on your own is definitely my number one solo-dating spot.

Some easier and probably less-profound places to take yourself to are cafes, restaurants and cinemas. Having a meal by yourself has this charm to it: it oozes independence. You don’t need someone else to accompany you while you’re eating. If you live alone, you probably have dinner by yourself at home all the time. What’s the difference then between eating alone within the four walls of your house and eating alone within the four walls of a restaurant? Food usually tastes better prepared by someone else anyways. Going to the movies, too, is the same story. We watch movies on our own all the time, so why would it be weird to do the same thing at a cinema?

I very recently went to a Years & Years concert by myself. Not to be dramatic, but I had the time of my life: not only because I love Years & Years, but also because I jammed to the music unapologetically without having a care in the world. Believe me if I tell you I was going wild with Olly. I have been to concerts with really close friends before (I even went to my very first concert with my dad), but I never felt free enough to do whatever I wanted to do, because I was always afraid of a judging eye. That’s not on them, though, but on me being a bit anxious sometimes. However, on my own, I was unbothered.

What I’m trying to say is that sulking in February is so stupid. I know it’s a sad month for us who aren’t actively seeing someone, but it is so easy to turn that around. There is no need for gloom and care when you have a whole person (that is, yourself) to love and date. A plain trip to IKEA has the potential to turn into a really funny memory. It’s incredibly simple to take yourself on a date, so why not do it?


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