Writer's Block Magazine

Photo by Pia Jung

Everything has to come to an end: the world has been ruled by a circular motion forever. Flowers bloom and spread their seeds, their corpses withering and nurturing the soil for another season to come. 

Then, why is our striving one-directional? It is never about returning somewhere or shedding something, but always about chasing the utterly novel, glimmering in the distance, always out of reach, even if we move closer towards it. Chasing something foreign and unfamiliar to coat us in a sense of unique discovery, so different from the ‘boredom’ of the here and now. But by neglecting the natural decay, return or seasonality of Life, we miss out on nourishing not only our own, but everyone else’s soil. I will delve into why it is integral to honour our innate cycles of Life. 

Recently, I have been going through a period of struggle. The worst part about it is the judgment of my struggle, which fuels the struggle with even more struggle. I realised that I was sick, stressed and overwhelmed. But instead of listening to my needs, I kept pushing through the uncomfortable, feeling like I could just think myself into healing. I have gone through many periods of mental and physical hardship, burnout, enlightenment, recalibration and the same thing all over again. Every time I realise I have fallen into another hole I dug myself, I start judging: 

What do you mean I need to rest again? How come I am so tired? How come I am so down? I shouldn’t be sad! I shouldn’t be tired! I shouldn’t struggle! Why can’t I just enjoy my life? Why do I always have to burn out before realising I need rest? Why can’t I do more? Why can’t I push through? Why can’t I be enough? I have to do things! I have to do more!

But what if the issue is not being tired, needing rest or feeling down, but my rejection of these feelings? I thought to myself, I don’t want to feel this pain, this struggle again. But is that the solution? Can I expect to live a balanced Life entirely free of struggle?

Honestly, where have we gone wrong? If I see one more YouTube ad with a middle-aged white dude trying to sell me into optimising my schedule with yet another productivity app that is AI-powered-connecting-all-productivity-programs-into-one-place (how many of these can exist?), I will throw my laptop out the window. I am so tired of people trying to enhance their and my natural needs and rhythms to stay up longer, eat less, look better, be more productive, study more, make more money, produce more outcome, get more time, use more natural resources, undo all mistakes, exploit the planet, build taller buildings, do more, be more, demand more. Why do we always have to get more, or strive for more, as if our Lives are a mere horizontal line, representing a linear process of living?

Living in western societies, which are designed to optimise human comfort and experience, we forget that humans are just a tiny part of a beautiful, living whole. Sometimes I forget that everything is alive, from the tree outside my window, to the flowers on my table, to the ants on our pavement, to the tomatoes I consume (at least at some point). Life is a breath given to all things inhabiting this earth. Maybe Life is just energy, given at birth, returned to the soil after death. But most importantly: Life, no matter where, is shaped in the same form. Life revolves in a circular motion. 

I argue that Life is not a mere linear line, with death in the distance as the final destination. Perhaps some people argue that we live to die, ‘memento mori’. But this way of thinking so simply neglects the entire point of Life and makes it a means to an end. Life doesn’t chase the accomplishment of one particular goal, neither death, nor success. Life is a privilege, a beautiful, generous, vibrant and ever-unfolding thing. And maybe we are just here to live. To experience Life, not to judge it, not to achieve it, and not to earn it. The meaning of it is not created for us, it is attributed by us. And each one of us is a part of nature’s cycle of Life, which does involve different phases. 

No matter where I look to observe Life, it always looks the same: the birth, growth, bloom, withering and death. And while most of us try to deny this delicate and powerful choreography, trying to outrun, outlive and ‘biohack’ Life, it is so perfect just in and of itself. There is a reason for the withering of flowers, fuelling the soil for another season of bloom. There is beauty in a sunset, knowing that the sun must leave to rise again. There is strength in a hedgehog’s hibernation, knowing that survival takes rest. There is so much knowledge in nature’s lessons, cues and needs, and we have become blind in our obsession to outdo the past. I feel mad at my body for catching a cold or needing an extra nap. But why? Because what could I have done in that time? How much could I have achieved in that hour? But what could you have achieved if you had rested in the first place, when your body asked for it? 

Perhaps the hardest part is not the growing or blooming or living, but the full immersion in and acceptance of the bleeding and shedding and dying. I believe that there are a million tiny cycles of Life spread across our Lives. There are seasons for us to grow and outshine. But, even more importantly, there are seasons of rest and hibernation and shedding to be done without any hesitation or judgment. The Earth cannot sustain itself without this death and rebirth cycle. And every night of sleep is a chance for us to shed the impressions of the day, to rest and to return renewed for another beautiful day to be alive. And every break-up is a season of death, not to be hushed away or concealed under fleeting affairs, but a season to be felt entirely. And the fever of a cold is a symptom of your body calling you into hibernation to give your body the strength to fight unwanted intruders. All exhaustion, all pain, all loss and all disappointment are in place to be felt in their entirety, to move through them and arrive at yet another season of bloom. Every season is worth living, and the next bloom will be even more beautiful if you allow yourself the space and time to rest and shed entirely. Shed the old version of yourself, let it go, wither and die to make space for the natural rebirth. Every season of darkness makes space for a new season of light. Nothing has to be forced. You have nowhere to go. Stay right here and listen to yourself. Are you resisting change? What do you need? What season are you in?

Allow yourself to flow freely through the ups and downs of Life without resistance. You will find yourself in a place of beauty, knowledge and vitality. No striving, just knowing there will always be Another Day of Sun. 

Written by Pia Jung