It is no secret that we like good poetry here at Writer’s Block. But if there’s one thing that brightens our day more than good poetry, it’s bad poetry. Luckily for us, there is a special day, every year, which seemingly functions as a magnet to forced rhymes, nonexistent meters and toe-curling similes: Valentine’s Day.
As the editorial board, we process your poetry submissions all year through. Today, we decided to return the favor to the people. Through collective effort we tried to capture the most mediocre, Valentine-y poetry we could muster, in honor of this international day of bad poetry.
We hope you enjoy.
xoxo WB
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1. The Dove of Love
They fell in love in the vineyard
With two doves cooing in the background
Pwrbwrwr, wroow
I love the feeling of grapes between my toes
But I love you more
Between my toes
My little grape
Mon cheri
Pwrbwrwr, wroow
Pwrbwrwr, wroow!
Ah oui
The dove of love
Memento Amori
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
2. “VALENTINE’S DAY CRAP”
Oh baby, you are the only one for me
I dream of how we walk hand in hand
Along beaches of pure white sand
As a sinking sun leaves trails of light
On the surface of the sea
We wine and dine in a restaurant
And afterward, standing outside in streetlight,
I raise my hand and my voice and hail a cab
We embark and follow the line, all the way
To a hotel room, away from the gloom
Where we get out of our clothes to get it on
Oh baby, it’s you and me, now and forever
I’ll never let you go; our souls are glued together
My love for you won’t cease burning, not ever
Baby, you’re so clever, and cute, and smart too
Oh darling, all I want for Valentine’s Day is you!
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3. a cupi(do) kaur poem
i don’t love you
because you’re beautiful
you’re beautiful
because i love you
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4.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m bad at romance
But this is for you.
Valentine’s day is full of materialism,
Chocolates and gifts and all of that jazz,
Stressing us out before we even get to today’s class.
But, don’t worry about it! Today, show love to the ones closest to you.
Hug them, kiss them and let them know about your true feelings.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
5. American Apple-pie
You are the apple-pie
Of my eye
Cinnamon hair
And a sugar-sweet stare
My Granny Smith boo
with a hint of pecan
But more than you
I love being an American
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6.
Love is loving to give
And sharing to care
Will you be my valentine,
If I’ll be your cuddle bear?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
7.
Roses are red
My sneakers be fly
Girl yo round ass
Make me wanna cry
Bitch you so fine
Teeth shine like bling
Yo bod be divine
Lemme take you to Burger King.
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8.
Rejection is not an option
Your love potion is quite the concoction
I’m high on your heart and drunk on your beauty
Never have I seen such a mesmerizing cutie
All that is left to ask you is this:
Will my valentine ever grant me true love’s kiss?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
9.
out in an open field
with the moon brightly
ever so shining
with the stars blinding
ever so sparkling
the only thing i see
are your hearteyes
be my valentine
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10. Club sandwich of my heart
You are my pain.
You are my bread
The bread in my head
The club sandwich
of my heart.
(my pain, my pain)
Honey bun
with your honey buns
you are far from a pancake
Sweet roll
with your oh-so sweet rolls
together in the oven of love we must bake
(my pain, my pain)
When we leave the bakery,
I hear the boys and girls call after you
Why you so cute, dough?
But you pay no heed
My beautiful flour
hold me close between
the slices of
your wheaty embrace
(my pain, my pain)
Pan, pan, pan…
From the pan you rise, pan
Soft yet coarse, and grainy!
I would never have you without your rough edges
(my pain, my pain)
You are my pain.
You are my bread
The bread in my head
The club sandwich
of my heart
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11.
i am at the park
trying to catch monsters
but instead
i caught you
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12.
you have two eyes
and to my surprise
they look at me
and oh what could we be
i want to hold your hand
and have a love unplanned
but it seems we canned
out loving glands
still let us try
and make curious passersby
stare in awe at you and i
as hand in hand we fly
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
With love,
The editorial board.
Writer's Block Magazine 