Towards a Festive Analysis of Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
I have waited long enough for this moment, but no longer. It has been enough. I’m gonna do it. I’m just gonna say it, and I don’t care who disagrees with me:
I am a strong proponent of dancing to music while preparing my food.
That’s right, reader. Gasp all you want. I dance, and you can’t stop me. In fact, I suspect you dance in secret too. You turn on your device, look for the music app, and start doing preparatory hip-gyrations in the meantime. Your one-person party, your solonaise, debuts. Lost in glorious ecstasy, you fail to notice your two cats and your roommate walking in, only to suddenly see them staring in silent wide-eyed awe.
Words cannot help you here; words can only dirty what your hips have thus far said oh so freely – and so you dance.
We’ve traveled before, you and me, and I suggest that we go again. Food and dance and music are recognized as arts, yes, but only separately – but woe the loose-footed man who suggests pizza and Queen belong together; woe the judgement that befalls the synesthetic, burrito-baking woman shaking her pelvis to Elvis. To remediate these prudish lapses into slave morality, I dedicate this article as a shameless, proud tribute to dancing while preparing food. We will do this in chronological order, starting with breakfast and ending in dinner, marrying each meal into a union of song, dance and cuisine. Skipping from meal to meal, we will only pause to dance and dine to some fine examples I’ve collected. Feel free to dance while reading, and feel free to post videos of yourself dancing while cooking in the comments below.
But enough talk: boundaries and taboos are meant to be broken, and it is time that we renew our revolutionary spirit. Let us begin.
Stage 1: Breakfast:
Music: “Wham Rap!” by Wham!
Dish: grilled cheese sandwich
Choreography: lively pelvic thrust
Starting our day with some nutritious, nicely grilled slow carbs, let’s loosen up those thighs a bit by getting that dusty old dookie maker off the chair and into action to the tune of George Michael’s classic Wham Rap! Remember to gently shift your weight from left to right and back as you move your attention from sandwich to sandwich, and don’t forget to accentuate that tasteful bread-flip with that equally groovy pelvic thrust.
Stage 2: Lunch
Music: “Flash Light” by Parliament
Dish: fried eggs
Choreography: sunny side shimmy
Now, you may think I’m eggsaggerating when I say that eggs are a great way to get your daily share of protein at lunch-time, but let me make eggstremely clear that I am not. In fact, if you ask your knowledgeable folks, you may well find that your folks quite adore their yolks. Thus, to prevent the health of the general populace from ending up in scrambles, some of our most prominent food scientists have hatched and shirred plans, moves and jams to the beat of Parliament’s funky Flash Light for a wholesome and dynamic midday meal. Get crackin’!
Stage 3: Dinner
Music: “Superrappin’ No.1” by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
Dish: veggie pasta
Choreography: whatever you feel like!
Having thus far spent the day challenging the terror of still, static bourgeois everydayness with the weapons of our own focused – albeit thoughtfully composed – prescriptions, I feel that it’s best that we end the day on a freer, more relaxing note and enjoy some room for us to have some fun and improvise together. The chow is tortellini: the most versatile and surprising of pastas. The track is Superrappin’ No.1 by Grandmaster Flash and friends. The moves are all you. Enjoy!
 Special credit goes to Shauny, Tom and Luc for their wonderful help in making this party come together. You guys rock!
 What’s inside? You tell me!
 Should you get the urge, feel free to post a video or .gif in the website or facebook comments! 🙂