The Deal with Pocket Monster Designs

 

Behold this horrid wretch before you, and ask yourself: how did Donald Trump beat this thing out of the first place in Time Magazine’s Most Influential People of 1998?

Not that any of that happened, of course. But imagine.

The thing I wanted you to take home from this is that no matter how awful the shape, the design in itself is instantly recognizable. And Pikachu, the loveable little thing, would probably give Trump a run for his money in terms of lovability versus fame (then again, a lot of Pokémon probably would).

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Review: Wonder Woman

So, a big monster guy crashes down onto Times Square, plucking a young maiden from the crowd. With a booming voice he proclaims, “Fuck you, citizens of New York! Bow and tremble to the might of Zorblon the Terrible!” Then Gal Gadot (our Amazonian heroine) comes out of nowhere and knocks Zorblon to the moon in one hit, rescuing the maiden. In a corner of the crowd one paparazzo nudges the other, saying, “Did ya see that? She must be some kinda… Wonder Woman” They start snapping pictures. Queue to the next day with presses rolling out a front page picture of the newly baptized Wonder Woman.

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The Redundancy of Memes

Memes. What about ‘em?

I dread them, that’s what. Luckily for me, my hate for the concept only boils up on a very superficial level, namely most of the stuff you go through on your social media feed: captioned pictures, short clips, inside jokes and puns that revolve around certain formulas and themes. However, the origin of what a “meme” is lies elsewhere—a place that has fairly little to do with the internet. The word “meme” can be seen as a prime example of a word being used out of context, but still being widely popular regardless. An ever-growing spectrum of jokes is fabricated (often forcefully) each day, and the internet has baptized these assorted jokes as “memes”. And by “the internet”, I mean no one in particular; there is no specific group that could be held accountable for attributing the term to the phenomenon. This makes determining why the word is used all the more difficult, since there is seemingly no motivation behind it. And yet, it happened. The average Joe in the street will probably answer the question “what are memes?” with an internet-related response; the definition is shifting. But from what exactly is the definition shifting? A short bit of history:

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Review: 69 Love Songs by The Magnetic Fields

Ah, love songs. They’re hard to love, but harder to hate. The two are never far apart.

Except for today, that is. Around Valentine’s Day people usually start to ponder more about love. What’s it all about? Worth the trouble, or just a pile of rubble? It’s different for everyone. Yet the songs on the radio suddenly get a new ring to them. As you listen closely, you’ll soon find that a big chunk of the pop charts are composed of love-related songs. All year through, people hum along without noticing. It’s usually only until around Valentine’s Day that people start to hate the same songs, and with good reason. Who needs a millionaire pop artist to whine about that particular one who got away, their break-ups or happiness in love? We ordinary people go through the same shit every day, except we don’t have money-oozing bank accounts and tons of admirers. Damned be capitalism, commercialism and their soul-wrenching, toe-curling spawn that is Valentine’s Day!

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The Crash of Originality

Do you remember 2016? I don’t know what you’ve been up to over the Christmas holidays, but let’s assume that you do remember, for the sake of argument. So, whether you’re a 2016 hater or lover, you’ve probably been to the cinema once or twice. It’s not too far-fetched to say that the consensus on 2016, life-wise, has been pretty shitty. But the movies—oh, the movies! Surely, there’s a small yet radiant twinkle of positivity to be found in all of the great movies that came out in 2016, right?

You’d be wrong. (Disclaimer: buckle up for an unhealthy dose of cynicism coming your way from this point on).

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December horoscopes

 

Oh geez.

I guess you’re looking for the monthly horoscopes we provide here at Writer’s Block. Sadly, there is not much to be read about your future other than the immediate one you’re trying to bridle right now.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the Master astronomer/star-seer can’t be present today. She is currently occupied spearheading a crusade against the false imputations of the so-called thirteenth zodiac sign that has people all riled up these days. She packed her diviner’s toolkit (telescope, star map, crystal ball and a copy of Gypsy Accent Daily) and left. When I asked her what to do about the horoscopes she muttered something along the lines of “The final reckoning is at hand! Those astronomers have received their last horoscopes! The stars spell blood for astronomy!”

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The Three Worst Directors You Should Watch

What a time to be alive. Not all of you might be fully aware of it 24/7, but I’d like to give you a reminder that, truly, we are living in an age of cinematographic marvel. That being said, I am certainly not referring to your local Pathé or Vue establishments. The current trends of Young Adult book-to-film conversions, brand reboots and superhero flicks could hardly satisfy a person like yourself; our beloved reader for whom an acquired taste is an undisputed must. After all, who needs formulaic blockbusters in which the protagonist’s blank-slate typecasted actor is locked in a cockfight with the director who wants to show off his goods with gimmicky thirty-minute trackshots and lens flares?

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